For the Wedding Lovers (and Haters)

A few years ago, I tried getting into that game for XBOX called Halo. I did it mainly because my husband was constantly hogging our TV with it, and because I figured it would give us some sort of bonding time together. When I told him I wanted to learn to play and "hang with the guys," he sweetly turned, looked at me and said "there isn't a non-girly, tomboyish bone in your body."

I guess he's right, because today I found myself glued to my TV watching Kate become a princess -- and --- I cried when they took their vows, I teared up when he turned to her and told her she looked beautiful, and my heart skipped a beat when they kissed.

I guess what most guys and girls who just aren't into things like this don't understand is that, for us fashion obsessed, wedding crazed, trend watching, shoe collecting, shop-a-holic girls, thiis our SEC championship game. This is our NASCAR (I'm assuming it's still called NASCAR) or whatever sporting event you guys get into. This is the stuff that we as little girls sitting in our rooms playing dressup (or in my case raiding my aunt brenda's jewlery box and closet lol) dream of. I always wanted to be a princess as a little girl, and I was convinced I was going to be Miss America when I was little -- Like to the point of walking around telling my teachers and anyone else who would listen about it. I even remember being a princess in a Christmas parade one year and my mom and Aunt Brenda teaching me to do the "Miss America wave" with my little tiara on, and let me tell you, I thought I was something riding on the back of that car with my tiara and fur coat lol. My mom even told me I had a swimsuit that had "future miss america on it" as a little girl.

So yes, I ate up every second of the wedding and in between catching my soap, cleaning house, taking care of 3 babies, and working out, I am watching every second of the post-wedding coverage - and yes, they over broadcast it and yes there has been some horrible, horrible things happen weatherwise around here lately, and my heart goes out to all the familes affected and I'll donate money and whatever else I can to charity to help, but please don't hate on me or any other girl who just wants to watch one girl get to live every girls dreams, because even in the middle of all this heartbreak and devestation, this wedding along with the recent birth of a friend of mine's baby girl reminds me that life isn't always doom and gloom and that there is always light at the end of the tunnel and that life must go on . It also gives me a little joy and happiness and a bit of relief from all of the horrific pictures and videos I have seen lately. 

So congratulations Kate, you are getting to live a real life fairytale that many of us girls have only been able to dream of and best wishes on your new life with your real life prince :)

For the Wedding Lovers (and Haters)

A few years ago, I tried getting into that game for XBOX called Halo. I did it mainly because my husband was constantly hogging our TV with it, and because I figured it would give us some sort of bonding time together. When I told him I wanted to learn to play and "hang with the guys," he sweetly turned, looked at me and said "there isn't a non-girly, tomboyish bone in your body." 

I guess he's right, because today I found myself glued to my TV watching Kate become a princess -- and --- I cried when they took their vows, I teared up when he turned to her and told her she looked beautiful, and my heart skipped a beat when they kissed.

I guess what most guys and girls who just aren't into things like this don't understand is that, for us fashion obsessed, wedding crazed, trend watching, shoe collecting, shop-a-holic girls, thiis our SEC championship game. This is our NASCAR (I'm assuming it's still called NASCAR) or whatever sporting event you guys get into. This is the stuff that we as little girls sitting in our rooms playing dressup (or in my case raiding my aunt brenda's jewlery box and closet lol) dream of. I always wanted to be a princess as a little girl, and I was convinced I was going to be Miss America when I was little -- Like to the point of walking around telling my teachers and anyone else who would listen about it. I even remember being a princess in a Christmas parade one year and my mom and Aunt Brenda teaching me to do the "Miss America wave" with my little tiara on, and let me tell you, I thought I was something riding on the back of that car with my tiara and fur coat lol.

So yes, I ate up every second of the wedding and in between catching my soap, cleaning house, taking care of 3 babies, and working out, I am watching every second of the post-wedding coverage - and yes, they over broadcast it and yes there has been some horrible, horrible things happen weatherwise around here lately, and my heart goes out to all the familes affected and I'll donate money and whatever else I can to charity to help, but please don't hate on me or any other girl who just wants to watch one girl get to live every girls dreams, because even in the middle of all this heartbreak and devestation, this wedding along with the recent birth of a friend of mine's baby girl reminds me that life isn't always doom and gloom and that there is always light at the end of the tunnel and that life must go on . It also gives me a little joy and happiness and a bit of relief from all of the horrific pictures and videos I have seen lately. 

So congratulations Kate, you are getting to live a real life fairytale that many of us girls have only been able to dream of and best wishes on your new life with your real life prince :)

Learning to be Me

September 7 of this year will mark my 28th birthday -- May of next year will mark my 10 year high school reunion. So why am I mentioning these 2 things? Quite simply because I'm almost 30 years old and most days I'm still unsure of who I truly am.

I can still remember sitting with my classmates on graduation day and wondering where I would be in 10 years. I can tell you my vision didn't include 3 children and me being jobless. I assumed I'd be married for sure, and possibly have 1 kid, but 3 -- I would have probably laughed in your face because I was one that was always saying you'd be lucky to get one kid out of me.

I knew I would be a college graduate, but I was hoping to have had a Master's degree by now and I figured I would have this incredible job that I could be proud of. I would have never imagined that the economy would be in the shape it's in today and that jobs seemed virtually impossible to land.

Don't get me wrong on the mommy thing. I love my kids, and from the minute Noah was placed in my arms my whole perspective on kids and motherhood changed almost immediately. It was at that point I knew I wanted 3, but there again I never imagined my last 2 pregnancies would be so rough -- especially the 3rd!

I have always battled with low self-esteem. That stems from being bullied all the way up until the day I graduated. People in school were pretty awful to me and called me terrible names, or in grade school made fun of my  hair, etc. I was labeled as a fat kid, I had one group of guys in high school try to label me as a lesbian, say I looked like a man, or call me names like "Ape." -- and the thing about it is, I'm friends with a majority of them now online and they either  have completely forgotten how they treated me, or they didn't realize the impact it had on my life. Furthermore 90% of them have, thankfully grown up and act a lot more mature, but I think a lot of people don't realize the impact that words can have on a person.  The  sadder thing is through all of this my mom tried to encourage me to be strong, believe in myself and that I was a beautiful person, but for whatever reason I just never listened. I was always afraid standing up to them would make things harder on me and the longer I let them beat me down, the more damage it did to me as a whole.

I always felt like the outcast in school, and when I graduated, I was determined to change that. I lost a bunch of weight following graduation, went on to college, made a completely new set of friends, met my husband and got my degree.

A few years into my relationship with a guy (who is now my husband) I remember him telling me how beautiful I was. I laughed in his face, confusing him obviously, and I went on to tell him about how I felt about myself. I couldn't believe he even wanted to date me because I thought I was so ugly. He of course at this point thought I was crazy and wanted to know where all this was coming from.

During all this, I started working at a mental health facility when one day I was talking with one of my co-workers, a therapist, about my outlook on life, myself, and my body. I told her how for years I had always felt like a fat, ugly, "manly" looking girl and felt like I could never be the person I truly wanted to be. It was at this point she told me I clearly had a body image disorder.

I've spent the past few years trying to change my outlook on life, and figure out who I really am. I have spent too many years either letting people beat me down to feeling like nothing or trying to be someone I wasn't. Since the birth of my daughter, I am more determined than ever to discover my true self. I want her to grow up stronger than I was. To learn that beauty isn't all superficial and that true beauty comes from within. I want her to see that I'm proud of who I am and that people can take it or leave it. More than that, I want to establish a relationship with God and I want her to see my closeness to him. I want her to learn to rely on him for strength and guidance.

It will take a while, but I know in time I will figure out who I am and what God truly wants me to do with my life.

Easter has come and gone

So this was Noah's 4th Easter, Memphis' 2nd and Miley's 1st. It was also the first year that Noah fully got the concept of what was going on. He loved every second of it -- from the egg dying, to the egg hunting, to the gifts from his grandparents, to the dressing up for church. 

A couple of weeks ago I had asked Noah what he wanted the Easter bunny to bring him. His response? "Sunglasses and a coloring book."  So we made extra sure that Easter Bunny got just what he wanted. Now he's on a kick of telling everyone how his birthday is coming up and how he wants  BIIIIIGGG skateboard. He also wants a Mickey cake, a "McQueen" game (aka a Cars game for the XBox) balloons and presents. He also wants his friends to come - and by friends he means Memphis and "his Gavin."

Our Easter was pretty traditional. Saturday the boys went with my in-laws where they dyed eggs. That afternoon we had a cookout here with them where we also hunted the eggs. The only bad part was Memphis developed a stomach bug that night.

Sunday morning he woke up and threw up on the floor and continued to have nasty diapers. Needless to say I was disappointed because I hadn't been to church since I had given birth to Miley and I had been excited about finally returning on Easter Sunday, so, I decided I wasn't going to let this stop me and loaded Memphis up on stomach meds which seemed to do the trick.

Off to chruch we went followed by spending the afternoon at Nana's where we again hunted eggs, they got gifts and we spent time with Nana, Pop, Aunt Allyson, Gavin, Harley and Uncle Chris. 

And when we got home.... Memphis threw up again. Now he's running fever and in bed, so we will see what happens -- I can at least say he seemed to enjoy the day regardless of his stomach troubles.

Miley didn't seem too interested in the holiday. She slept about 90% of the day but that's to be expected wtih a 7 week old.

Hope your Easter was fabulous!

The curls are gone

Monday was a sad day at my house. It started off as a normal haircutting session with Noah and Johnny. I set the clippers down for a second to check on Miley and when I came back, my adorable could be curly headed baby model had whacked the side of his hair off forcing me to cut the rest. I cried my eyes out. I cried myself to sleep and my husband just didn't get why I was so sad. I saved a handful of the curls for the baby book, and I am getting used to the new look but oh how I miss seeing my curly headed little man running through the yard. It is just another reminder of how quickly they grow. I'm just glad I got some good pictures of him before this happened.

Speaking of growing, I take Miss Miley for her checkup Friday and i am interested in seeing what she weighs since she is a week away from 2 months and can still wear newborn clothes (by this time with the boys the newborn sizes had been long gone) but I like her being little. She still looks like a baby doll and as long as she's healthy I am happy.

I'm still working on loosingnthe baby weight. I walk 6 days a week and do yoga and ab work throughout the week as well. My husband says I an anorexic because I never eat but I think he's crazy. I just don't eat as much as he thinks I should but anyway!

Hope everyone has an awesome Easter :)

Just a few of my photography pics

 

I've been sitting here for the past hour watching the weather on TV. It makes me wonder when did I get to the age that I could sit and watch the weather for this long and actually get hooked on it??? My kids have all piled on the couch with me, and well they are still at the age that this stuff bores the crap out of them, so all of them (including baby) are passed out on the couch. I figure I could take this moment of peace and quiet to share with you a few of my photos -- I'll start with my sweet baby girl Miley Gayle - whom I've nicknamed "pretty girl" the past few days.

I'll add more later. My computer has decided to act crazy and not let me upload any of the others I wanted to share.

Happy Easter, and hopefully the weather will skip my area like it's done pretty much all day!

UPDATED BELOW!!

Just wanted to clear my mind

I haoove a lot of things on my mind, but I'm at a loss as to how to fit them in an order to where they'd actually make sense in this blog.

I guess the thing that bothers me most at the moment is fake people. It seems as though social networks have become a breeding ground for them as well. I mean, do these people honestly think we don't know the real them away from these sites? And what happened to just being you? I don't get why people are trying so hard to put up a front and portray themselves in a way that everyone knows they're not. Why try so hard to impress people? People like you for the real you not the fake "look at me look at me" type you.  It just irritates me to have to sign on everyday and have my news feed cluttered with the BS of a fake person. I guess I should hide their posts, huh?

With that off my chest and completely switching gears to something else, I'm loving the photography thing. More and more people are telling me about how beautiful the pictures were of Miley and how I should really pursue this as a side if not a full-time job. So I bought a few Easter props, and I'm waiting on Miley's specially made Easter outfit and I plan on taking a few more pics of her (and the boys too). I also plan on taking some photography classes when I go back to school this fall. 

Keep watching my blog, it'll get more interesting I promise, and I plan on posting some pics from my photography hobby soon!!