Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

" I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made" -  Psalm 139:14

For those of you seriously close to me, you know that I have been dealing with ALOT of crazy things lately. I've been fighitng an emotional war that has left me exhausted and stressed and most of the time feeling confused, unappreciated and defeated.

Many times, I have wanted to throw my hands in the air and give up. However, my husband and a couple of other super supportive people have kept me on my feet - pushing me, encouraging me, loving me, holding me tight and not letting me loose hold of what little fight I have in me.

This morning, I attended church as usual. This morning, it came full circle from a powerful messsage that came from Psalms 139.

Before I ever took my first breath in this crazy mixed up world, God knew my life already. He knew day by day minute by minute the struggles I would potentially face. He knew my triumphs, my joys, my moments of darkness and loneliness. He knows the countless hours I've spent totally alone and the thoughts that were there with me and it made me realize... if God knows all of this, then he knows what lies ahead and he knows the peace that is coming so it's time I let it go and let God take care of it.

I don't know what the future holds or what the outcome will be. I feel certain my life is slowly changing for the better. I've been trememndously happy at times in the recent months. Happier than I've been in a really really long time. All I can do at this point is let go. Let go of the pain, let go of the hurt, the cold heartedness from others, the jealousy, the painful words, the tears that have been shed. It's time I let go and hand it to God. He's got my back in this and I know he will see me through to the other side.