The last few years have been nothing short of a battle. It's been physically, emotionally and mentally exhausting at times. We've survived the unimagineable. Faced financial difficulty, been hurt by the people we thought loved us the most, survived miscarriage, cancer scares, and complicated pregnancies - and somehow our marriage survived, we are stronger than ever and it seems as though we finally made it to the light at the end of the tunnel.
I've spent the majority of the day praying, reflecting and preparing for what lies ahead. I thought back earlier to where we stood this time last year, how afraid we were coming off of Johnny's job loss and both of us starting new ones. In one year we have made it from one end of the spectrum to the other. We have made some amazing friends who have had our backs, believed in us, pushed us, cried with us, prayed with us, and help bring us back to God. Furthermore, I could not be more grateful for Johnny. No matter what the circumstance or how scary things got, he has always stayed strong, always been there when no one else could be found and always always has had my back.What an awesome God I serve. The blessings we have recieved lately have been unimagineable.
It is beyond time for me to let the hurt go. Let the things of my life that have held me back for so long go. Let those who have hurt me and put me down go. It's time to move forward and move on with my life. Time to focus on the things that matter, the people that matter, the ones who truly love me. A song came to mind earlier today that is fitting for my life. I think I've posted it before, but I am posting it again today. It's called "Redeemed" by Big Daddy Weave and it's a beautiful song.
"Seems like all I can see was the struggle
Haunted by ghosts that lived in my past
Bound up in shackles of all my failures
Wondering how long is this gonna last
Then You look at this prisoner and say to me "son
Stop fighting a fight that's already been won"
I am redeemed, You set me free
So I'll shake off theses heavy chains
Wipe away every stain now I'm not who I used to be
I am redeemed
All my life I have been called unworthy
Named by the voice of my shame and regret
But when I hear You whisper, "Child lift up your head"
I remember oh God, You're not done with me yet
I don't have to be the old man inside of me
Cause his day is long dead and gone
I've got a new name, a new life I'm not the same
And a hope that will carry me home"
I know that our lives can't be perfect and never will be perfect. I also know there are many battles ahead but I know that as long as God is with me, I can make it through.
Showing posts with label faith. Show all posts
Showing posts with label faith. Show all posts
Sunday, September 16, 2012
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Keep Moving Forward
Saturday morning started like any Saturday for me. 7:30 AM, I was up, running shorts on, out the door towards Bonita I went. I completed my run someitme after 8:45 in the pouring down rain. It was probably the best run I have had yet. I felt so refreshed, I took my time, and even added a lap. I talked with God, got a lot off my mind and had fully made my mind up that it was time to start pressing on, moving forward and going in the right direction in my life. Time to quit letting jealous people bring me down, time to quit letting all the stress, chaos and drama of other people and past situations hold me back. It was time I was going to break out and be me.
As I approaced my vehicle that morning, my heart stopped. Shattered glass covered the parking lot. A huge open hole could be seen in the passengers side window. The joy I had just experienced was quickly replaced with panic and fear. I ran to my car to discover that my wallet, my purse, and my secondary iPhone had been stolen. I seperate my purse from my wallet because my purse was in one area and my wallet was hidden in the middle console with the additional iPhone. To my surprise, my 300.00 GPS and Johnny's 400.00 Maui Jim sunglasses were still in tact.
Tears filled my eyes and I glanced back to the empty carseat where a stuffed sock-monkey style cow and baby doll sat now covered in shattered glass and all I could think was "What kind of human being does this to someone?" The fear of someone having my social security card, banking information, and driver's license was too much to take in. I dialed 911, dialed my husband, and dialed someone who well, might as well be an additional family member. Between the 911 dispatcher, my husband, and this other person, they managed to get me calm enough to backtrack and try to keep the damage as low as possible. I called the bank in enough time that no money was lost. I had the debit card canceled and the additional phone line cut off.
As I sat in the parking lot, alone, in the rain, waiting on the police to arrive I was amazed at the number of people who walked right past me, noticed my vehicle and offered me no help. I'm just greatful that I did have more than one phone with me and that I kept one of those phones on me as I ran. The police soon arrived, were super nice, helped me to remain calm and gave me instruction on what I needed to do next.
It was in that moment as I was wrapped in fear and panic, as the rain kept falling, as the glass surrounded me that I knew this was a make or break moment for me. I could let this be my breaking point on all the incredibly wild things that have happened over the last three years, or that I could finally put my foot down and say "no more."
True, I have a window to replace, and identity to protect, but thank God the person didn't wait for me. Thank God they didn't carjack me, and thank God my kids were home safe, with my husband. The situation could've gone a billion different ways - ways much worse than what they did. The window is easily replaceable, as is the driver's license, my life on the other hand, is irreplaceable.
I'm celebrating my one year work anniversary today and I can't begin to tell you how proud of myself I am. I worked and fought hard to get where I am and I thank God for the opprotunity to have made it this far and the people who have stuck by my side to this point. It hasn't been an easy road, and Saturday proved it will continue to have bumps along the way, but from here on out, I'm a fighter. I'm going to keep moving forward no matter what, and I'm going to keep rocking in everything I do.
I'd like to close with this inspirational picture I found earlier today:
As I approaced my vehicle that morning, my heart stopped. Shattered glass covered the parking lot. A huge open hole could be seen in the passengers side window. The joy I had just experienced was quickly replaced with panic and fear. I ran to my car to discover that my wallet, my purse, and my secondary iPhone had been stolen. I seperate my purse from my wallet because my purse was in one area and my wallet was hidden in the middle console with the additional iPhone. To my surprise, my 300.00 GPS and Johnny's 400.00 Maui Jim sunglasses were still in tact.
Tears filled my eyes and I glanced back to the empty carseat where a stuffed sock-monkey style cow and baby doll sat now covered in shattered glass and all I could think was "What kind of human being does this to someone?" The fear of someone having my social security card, banking information, and driver's license was too much to take in. I dialed 911, dialed my husband, and dialed someone who well, might as well be an additional family member. Between the 911 dispatcher, my husband, and this other person, they managed to get me calm enough to backtrack and try to keep the damage as low as possible. I called the bank in enough time that no money was lost. I had the debit card canceled and the additional phone line cut off.
As I sat in the parking lot, alone, in the rain, waiting on the police to arrive I was amazed at the number of people who walked right past me, noticed my vehicle and offered me no help. I'm just greatful that I did have more than one phone with me and that I kept one of those phones on me as I ran. The police soon arrived, were super nice, helped me to remain calm and gave me instruction on what I needed to do next.
It was in that moment as I was wrapped in fear and panic, as the rain kept falling, as the glass surrounded me that I knew this was a make or break moment for me. I could let this be my breaking point on all the incredibly wild things that have happened over the last three years, or that I could finally put my foot down and say "no more."
True, I have a window to replace, and identity to protect, but thank God the person didn't wait for me. Thank God they didn't carjack me, and thank God my kids were home safe, with my husband. The situation could've gone a billion different ways - ways much worse than what they did. The window is easily replaceable, as is the driver's license, my life on the other hand, is irreplaceable.
I'm celebrating my one year work anniversary today and I can't begin to tell you how proud of myself I am. I worked and fought hard to get where I am and I thank God for the opprotunity to have made it this far and the people who have stuck by my side to this point. It hasn't been an easy road, and Saturday proved it will continue to have bumps along the way, but from here on out, I'm a fighter. I'm going to keep moving forward no matter what, and I'm going to keep rocking in everything I do.
I'd like to close with this inspirational picture I found earlier today:
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
Standing Strong
The past 3 years have been quite difficult to say the least. Complicated pregnancies, financial strain, cancer scares, medical problems of the most unusual kind, job losses. You name it, we probably suffered through it. I can't tell you the nights I found myself face down in the floor crying out to God for help. Had it not been for a handful of people carrying me through, sticking by my side and reminding me day after day after day to have faith, there's no way I would've ever made it this far.
Through all the heartache I've suffered lately, the one thing I have learned is that people can take away your job, your money, your most prized posessions - but as long as you have faith, as long as you are willing to stand up and fight for what's rightfully yours (happiness), then you will ALWAYS ALWAYS make it out to the other side smiling.
Furthermore, when you make it to the other side and all seems bright and shiny, be prepared because people are going to try to bring you down. Jealousy is an evil creature. People love to see those who are making it to the top fall flat on their face so they are not alone in their negativity.
As I was "venting" to someone earlier about many of the things in life that have me stressed, that person gave me some really good advice. They told me that in the end, other people can't control how I react to things such as jealousy, negativity, or gossip. But I can. I can choose to let them walk all over me and give up, or I can fight back, push my way through and continue to rise to the top. Have faith in myself that I can do it and I can make it and I WILL be okay.
Take a leap of faith on yourself everyday. Don't settle for anything less than your best. The results will absolutely amaze you and leave those doubting you speechless.
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