Feeling like a slacker!

Okay first let me say I'm psyched to finally have the iphone4. Second I ought to be typing this from my brand new laptop but it's late, im lazy and I'm gonna do it from this phone instead!

So much has been going on lately I feel like I've been slacking with this blog. First off the biopsy was negative - so its check ups and treatments for now. My iron levels are so low I'm having to get iron shots - blah.

Miley's first birthday is Thursday and I'm psyched about her party! And the best part is Johnny will be here with us! Yay he heads home Friday!!!

I've redone our room, the boys room and added some new things to practically every room in the house.

Let's see what else? Oh yeah im moving up in the working world - I've been bumped up into management! Yay me!

I owe all of this to God. When things were at my worst and we had no clue what the future held, we tried to never loose sight of our faith in him and manf have the blessings overflowed lately. I have the best job ever, the greatest friends and family, the sweetest clients, and my husband has been blessed with a great job. We are so fortunate to be where we are today in today's economy and we owe it all to God. We've come a long way since last year and we couldn't be happier!

Latest Photography Shots

Finally - A moment to sit and relax!

This week has been C-R-A-Z-Y!!!! It started off pretty average and ended up with me going down to Wiggins, MS for a day and then the following day going from Alabama to Mississippi back to Alabama and finally back to Mississippi. The rest of the week has been spent with me trying to redecorate our bedroom, order furniture for the boys room and trying to hang out with my sweet babies as much as possible. Today is the first morning all week that I didn't feel like I was supposed to be doing something, so I thought I'd give an update.

Johnny confirmed Friday that he is for sure staying in Austin until March 1st. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that he will get to come home then and be here for Smiley's first birthday. Don't get me wrong, we are so grateful for the money he's made and how much this has helped us overcome the worst Summer ever after he faced unemployment last year, but we really miss him!!!!

Speaking of Summer, a vacation is booked for us in Panama City Beach Florida -- come on May!!

I took Miley for a check up the other day, and she weighs 24lbs. I can't remember how long she is but Dr. Reid said she is tall for her age and at a perfect weight. She is taking a few steps here and there and I think it's just a matter of days before she really takes off. Maybe she can hold off till Daddy comes home!

I got a new laptop and new camera yesterday, so you know I'll be posting tons of pictures soon! It's an even better one than the Nikon I had and I hope sooner or later I can get one additional one that's a little better than the one I got so I can really practice, practice, practice and continue to improve on this photography thing. I LOVE LOVE playing with a camera! Always have - always will!

The job is still awesome to me. I just got licensed in Alabama Friday so I'm excited about that. God has blessed us in so many ways here lately. I would be wrong if I didn't stop and take a moment to thank him for it and tell all of you what a great God is truly is.

Anyway, hope everyone has a fantastic week. And I promise at some point to take down the Christmas background off my blog ;)

<3 April

Smiley Miley is Almost One!

It's hard to believe Smiley is 11 months old and just days away from being one. This time last year I was laid up in Rush Hospital thinking the throwing up, high blood pressure and contractions would never end. I had never been so tired of being in a hospital in my life. 

In a lot of ways, Miley is a miracle baby to me. Considering the 999,000 health issues I've had involving my uterus, ovaries and the complicated pregnancies I've had, it's really amazing she's perfectly healthy.

Before I became pregnant with Miley, I suffered a very short lived pregnancy that ended up in a miscarriage. I still remember going for an ultrasound and seeing that tiny fetus with no heartbeat. It's one of the worst feelings in the world.

Then, within a few months we were pregnant again. I was so hopeful it would be a little girl, but was pretty sure it probably wouldn't be. I still remember that cold October day in Jackson when the Specialist told us it was most definitely a girl. To be sure, we made him and our OB/GYN here in Meridian check every ultrasound following. And well, the day she was born, I asked them one final time if they were sure she was a girl.

Miley is my ray of sunshine. Getting here was a living hell, but I can't imagine life without her. She's always happy, rarely cries and well, it's no question as to why we've nicknamed her "Smiley." She looks like a living baby doll and no matter where we go people have to stop and tell us what a beautiful baby she is.

She's standing, babbling, laughing, waving bye-bye, blowing kisses, playing peek-a-boo and taking a step here and there but we haven't evolved into full on walking yet.

We ordered birthday invitations yesterday and a part of me was sad. Miley is my last baby in the house. It will be sad as they grow older but I will cherish each special moment I've had with them in their baby years forever. 

Her party theme will be a Princess party, and we are keeping our fingers crossed daddy will be home to celebrate with us!

Keeping the Faith

Wednesday I got one of those phonecalls that no one wants to get. The kind that makes you stop dead in your tracks and knocks the breath out of you. With all the tests and surgeries and other crazy things I've had going on lately it all came down to this one phonecall. I got the answers I had been waiting on, but they weren't the answers I wanted. 

Without telling everything because there are some details I'd like to keep private and between only me and my close friends and family, I discovered Wednesday that if this biopsy doesn't come back positive for cancer, there's a 75% chance I'm gonna end up with it over the course of the next few years. Furthermore the thing that's causing all these issues -- well there's no treatment for it and I will have to deal with it for the rest of my life, so basically I feel like I'm holding my breath every second of everyday hoping it doesn't turn into something bad. 

It's one of those moments where you know that you have to make a choice in life - either you can sit and cry your eyes out about it and think of the worst - or you can pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and try to keep going. 

Don't get me wrong, when I got that phonecall, I had just pulled into the parking lot at my job and I sat there for a good 30 minutes crying and asking God why. I turned around and called my husband who by the way is in Austin Texas for an unknown amount of time working and cried my eyes out to him. I then tried to get myself together to go in, but once my feet hit the top step of that second floor, the tears came back and I found my self outside on the balcony calling my husband a second time for support. 

I'm absolutely terrified. There are so many what ifs floating around in my head it's crazy - but this is what I do know. There is a God in control of my life. He is bigger than any health problem or my body may ever have and even if by some horrific chance I do wind up with it, I know that no matter what God is by my side. All I can do is hold on to my faith and trust no matter what the outcome, I will be just fine. 

So I'm asking you to pray for me and my family. None of us knows what lies ahead of us and we are all scared and nervous about what the future holds. We are taking it one day at a time and holding strong to our faith. We are asking all of you to help us remain strong.  

I will keep you updated for sure. 

365 Day Photo Challenge - This weeks Photos

I'm really sucking at this. I can't keep up with each day, but this is what I got for this week!

There she is....

One of my fondest childhood memories was of me in my bedroom pretending to be Miss America. I had the wave down pat. My life's ambition was to be Miss America. I had the fake cry planned out and everything. Unfortunately, as I got older and the kids got meaner, I lost myself confidence and decided I wasn't good enough to accomplish such a title.

This got me thinking. It's a shame at how hateful and cruel girls can be. That's probably why I've always found it easier to make male friends over females. Some girls seem o think that's impossible for some reason and that you can't possibly befriend a guy without having some hidden motive, but one of the best friends I ever had was a guy. He was like a brother to me and I miss him daily.

I don't get why girls feel the need to stab each other in the back to get ahead in life. Why they must put each other down. As a kid I was made fun of for my red hair and freckles. As I got older, my weight. Some of my classmates in highschool referred to me as "Ape" and even said I looked like a man.

There have been many days when I wished that I could have them take a walk in my brain and feel the emotional scars they have left on me. They damaged me. I have the worst self image of anyone you've ever seen and the worst eating habits of anyone (seriously, I've been known to go days without eating) and it's all thanks to bullying and the cruel spirits of some spoiled little girls.

Miley will definitely have red hair. I hope that I can teach her to be stronger than I was and stand up to girls like the ones I've described above. I hope and pray she never experiences the torture I experienced in school. I hope she's stronger than me, more conifident than me, and bolder than me.

Instead of tearing each other down, we need to build each other up. We live in a culture where the media portays the ideal woman as a trashy bimbo. As another one of my favorite bloggers blogged the other night, what happened to classiness? And what happened to respect for one another and supporting each other?

Just a thought.